"Barack the Magic Negro" CD distributed by RNC chief hopeful

TheHill.com: "RNC candidate Chip Saltsman’s Christmas greeting to committee members includes a music CD with lyrics from a song called “Barack the Magic Negro,” first played on Rush Limbaugh’s popular radio show.
Saltsman, a personal friend of conservative satirist Paul Shanklin, sent a 41-track CD along with a note to national committee members.

“I look forward to working together in the New Year,” Saltsman wrote. “Please enjoy the enclosed CD by my friend Paul Shanklin of the Rush Limbaugh Show.”"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???????????????????

LOL

more lol celebs!

The "Nice Critic"

NiceCritic.com:is a way of communicating difficult thoughts comfortably. This free service gives users the ability to say something to someone that has been on their minds in a safe, non-embarrassing environment. They simply visit the site, pick a statement from a wide variety of pre-written “thought bubbles,” and send that message to a friend, acquaintance, or relative’s email address. This site is meant to be a constructive critic on a wide variety of potentially-uncomfortable issues. The person being “NiceCritic’d” then has the opportunity to reflect on the message received, choosing to take the suggestion or dismiss it. Please feel free to use this site in the constructive manner for which it is intended. This site is meant to be polite, constructive, and fun. This site is NOT meant to make anyone feel uncomfortable."

It's kind of a cool idea, except the categories are too banal.
There ARE a few good ones such as
"Your thong seems to be showing"
"You should consider using a stronger deoderant"

But then there's THIS horrifying [and somewhat mystifying]
"You have a noticeable post-bathroom stain."
WTF is that???


I wish they had ones like

"You're a total fucking prick and everyone wishes you would get a horrible disease"

or "Maybe you should stop drinking and fucking your way through life, whore"

Santa Claus - Dickipedia

Santa Claus - Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks:
"Many Christians are opposed to teaching children to believe in Santa Claus because the tradition detracts from the religious purpose of Christmas. Some Christians also believe there is a so-called “War On Christmas.” This refers to what the Christians believe is an organized effort, led mostly by Jews, to deny the Christians the right to celebrate Christmas as they wish, which mainly involves saying “Merry Christmas” to Jews, or, “being an a-hole.”
Though there is some debate about what leads someone to believe there is such thing “War on Christmas,” consensus is coalescing around the theory that it stems from watching “Fox News” while licking Chinese toys.
Early Christian origins
Saint Nicholas of Myra is the main inspiration for the Christian figure of Santa Claus. He was a 4th century Christian bishop in Lycia, now in Turkey. Nicholas was famous for his gifts to the poor, in particular giving dowries to three impoverished daughters of a pious Christian so they would not have to become prostitutes, or what we would now know as “Spears sisters.” Why Saint Nicholas was so interested in giving gifts to three single sisters is unknown, but that part of the story is thought to be the inspiration for many modern day “rap” videos."

Blind Man Sees With Subconscious Eye : NPR

Blind Man Sees With Subconscious Eye : NPR: "Scientists are reporting the remarkable case of a blind man who can see."

This story is really cool. A man who had two strokes is blind- or is he? His eyes are not damaged, but the part of his brain that processes concious vision is not functioning. So he can't see. However, when faced with obstacles, he moves around them- his subconcious is able to process the images!
It's amazing. It's also kind of screwed-up, because the reseachers made him walk an obstacle course down a hallway without telling him anything was there. "Hey blind guy- walk over here!" (snicker snicker)

TheExplodingWhale.com

TheExplodingWhale.com: "If this is your first exposure to the Exploding Whale, then you are on the verge of learning about an event so bizarre and fantastic that you will surely doubt its veracity at first. If you've already experienced the Exploding Whale, then you're undoubtedly back to relive this amazing and unforgettable story. In either case, we'd like to say...
Welcome to the definitive Exploding Whale website on the internet!"

Until I watched the special on National Geographic Channel, I didn't know either
A. that sperm whale carcasses often explode
or
B. that there were enough "Exploding Whale" websites on the net that there needed be a one that called itself the "definitive" one.

Senate to Middle Class: Drop Dead

Michael Moore: Senate to Middle Class: Drop Dead: "Yes, they could have given the loan for any of these reasons because, in the end, to lose our manufacturing infrastructure and throw 3 million people out of work would be a catastrophe.
But instead, the Senate said, we'll give you the loan only if the factory workers take a $20 an hour cut in wages, pension and health care. That's right. After giving billions to Wall Street hucksters and criminal investment bankers -- billions with no strings attached and, as we have since learned, no oversight whatsoever -- the Senate decided it is more important to break a union, more important to throw middle class wage earners into the ranks of the working poor than to prevent the total collapse of industrial America."

Vatican stays firmly planted in the 15th century

Yeah, this ISN'T from the Onion. It's for real. How does this Church expect to survive?

Will a New Vatican Document Affect Science and Reproductive Health?: Scientific American: "The Vatican released a striking bioethics document today that condemns not only embryonic stem cell research, human-animal hybrids, and human cloning, but also the commonplace practice of in vitro fertilization that many couples depend on to have children."

Jessica Alba Airbrushed Thinner For Campari

Jessica Alba Airbrushed Thinner For Campari
Go check out the pictures. She looks great in the "natural" one- except she's got a camel toe... besides that, there was no reason to make her thinner. What the hell is wrong with these advertising people?

High School Student Whines His Way To 4.0 GPA | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

High School Student Whines His Way To 4.0 GPA | The Onion - America's Finest News Source:

"'Rarely have I had a student this eager to argue that he deserved an A instead of an A minus because of an unfair test question, or complain that the grading curve 'cheapens' his high scores, or shed actual tears over missing an extra-credit question on a test that he already got 100 percent on,' said instructor Scott Flynn, who teaches Wagner's Advanced Placement chemistry class. 'This just goes to show that if you whine longer and harder than the rest of your classmates, you can achieve your goals.'"

Oh, this is MY LIFE

26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving

26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving | The Onion - America's Finest News Source:

"NEW YORK—For the fifth straight year, Jordan McCabe will return home for the holidays and spend the night before Thanksgiving running into every smug and unlikable asshole he ever went to high school with, the 26-year-old reported Monday.
The trip back home, scheduled for later this week, will reportedly bring McCabe face-to-face with an endless string of pricks from his past, each of whom he will have to engage in awkward conversation, and generally pretend to be happy about seeing again.
'They're all going to be there,' said McCabe, purchasing an Amtrak train ticket for Rochester, NY. 'Every last one of them, just as shitty and conceited and phony as ever.'
'I can't believe I'm going to see all those assholes again,' McCabe continued.
Though he will initially intend to stay at home with his parents, grandparents, and other relatives, McCabe told reporters that after spending approximately five hours in their company, he will grow antsy, borrow his father's car, and drive to nearby Marleybone Pub. There, McCabe expects to bump into at least five insufferable assholes in the first three minutes."

This entire article is so goddamn hilarious and true. I love the Onion!